Ill try to long story short this..

Didn't have the best of childhoods. Went through a lot of trauma including alcoholic parents, physical and mental abuse, grooming etc.

I've been through a lot, but I pulled myself through. I have a lovely flat, a good job, friends.

I do however struggle, I have problems and they are recurring problems I know are linked to my past and I need to deal with.

Whilst looking in to what might be going on with me I came across BPD. I fit (based on what the web says) most of the criteria. Although not all of them, its been enough to make me go hmm.. There might be something in this.

Im hoping to start seeing a counsellor soon to try and work out what my problems are and how to start having healthy relationships, particular with my partner now. We are rowing a lot.

Whilst I know I tick a few boxes, im very very reluctant to self diagnose and especially BPD. Im not qualified at all. And the more I read online the more it scares me. I dont think I am BPD I think I relate to parts of it.

My problem is I think its all been overload for my partner and he can't really understand my position or how to help.

I'm starting to feel like I dont have a voice in our relationship and he now only sees me as BPD. Even though I have never in any way been diagnosed.

We had a conversation where I disagreed with something he said, in a response he said 'I think you're being irrational, odd, and not to label it, but BPD.'

I do not know where to go with this. Its been mentioned a few times in a row 'I am being BPD'.

It shuts me down and makes me feel broken, put in a corner and point blank wrong / crazy. As if all my opinions now are BPD talking.

I've tried to explain I really don't like this being thrown in my face and I am at the point of considering ending our relationship over it. I don't want to, but as he is the only person I have who knows the turmoil im going through now trying to help myself.. It hurts he is so unsupportive.

How do I ask / explain to him I need him to be better / more helpful? And more so in what way can I ask him to help?

tl;dr: I have a few issues i'm trying to get help with, some elements of BPD resonate with me so I brought it up to the OH. Now he only sees me as BPD. I am not diagnosed with anything.

Edited spelling