I'm going to preface this by saying that I have a history of social anxiety, generalized anxiety, and depression going back to my teen and early college years that has severely impacted my life and my ability to function normally as a person. But for the past six months or so my brain's been doing some really bizarre stuff I can't find any information on, and neither my psychiatrist nor my therapist has been particularly helpful. I figured I'd ask strangers on the internet about it, because what the hell.

In addition to heightened anxiety (I'm having sometimes 3 panic attacks a day now without anything to trigger them) and a sense of high stress that won't go away, my brain keeps getting stuck in repetitive thought cycles I can't break out of. Namely, It's nearly impossible for me to think about anything BUT my mental health, and how I'm feeling in the moment. This is basically all day every day, and it impacts my ability to focus on anything else. My brain also seems incredibly focused on comparing how I am and what I'm doing in the moment to how I was and what I was doing in the past, to the point that it's incredibly difficult for me to be just in the moment. Sometimes at night I can break out of this, but it's getting rarer and rarer for whatever reason.

There's also this weird sense of stress surrounding all these activities I used to find enjoyable, which makes it very difficult for me in my leisure time. I can't focus on anything because of this weird deep seated anxiety and stress, and I have to be very deliberate in how I spend my time, otherwise I wind up staring at my phone mindlessly for several hours. It almost feels like I don't have any likes or interests at all at this point, which makes me feel very much not like myself.

All in all, with these obsessive thoughts and inability to enjoy things, I just don't feel like myself and feel very divorced from what used to be my identity as a person. My psychiatrist is just sort of putting me on random meds at this point on the off chance that something will help, and says that because my brain is wired differently than other people's (I'm on the autism spectrum) there's not really a label he can put on this.

I'd be very interested in what anyone has to say about what might be going on here, or if anyone has any recommendations. I'm absolutely terrified about living the rest of my life like this.