Hello,

First time on Reddit, I need help supporting my partner. I do not want to reveal too many details to protect his privacy but I need help. My partner recently revealed to me that he has been struggling with profound anxiety, shame, and depression for the last year. He has struggled with mental health in the past and we have worked through it - but he just let me know a few things he has been keeping from me for years that shocked me.

I don’t want to share the details of what he shared - I’m sorry. But they were rooted in severe depression and were dealing with his professional career and personal affairs and were not relationship/infidelity related. He was very ashamed, and very apologetic but had been dishonest with me and with himself for over 5 years.

I am hurt that he lied to me - but more than anything I just want him to be happy. I love him so much, we have been together for over a decade and I know his heart. He doesn’t keep lies for nepharious reasons, but how can I help him if he doesn’t share with me?

He is planning to start seeing his counselor again which I encouraged and he was open to. He has never seen a psychiatrist which I also encouraged in case medications are indicated.

My questions How can I best support him? He is so ashamed and so full of guilt for lying to me. He keeps apologizing, but I don’t want to dwell on the past. I just want him to be happy - that’s all I want for him. I don’t care where he works, how much he makes, or anything else. Should we see a counselor together? Or should I let the counselor and him deal with the issues so he can keep some privacy?

I do not see him differently after this, he is still my partner, and my best friend. How can I support him while still helping him to push through this?

I am sure I am missing some info so feel free to ask more - I will answer as many questions as I can without revealing too much.

Thank you so much. I have never personally dealt with mental health issues, and I feel woefully unequipped.