I would rather do a life swap with Paris Hilton....spoiled rotten rich from birth.If only I do a virtual thing with Michael Fassbender,Taron Egerton or Dan Stevens in my bed.Then I wouldn't need to see a therapist anymore.Age old sad story.Father paranoid schizophrenic.Mother naturalized US citizen,blind in one eye.Family of 5 living off $10,000/yr.In 2008 we got evicted twice because one of my two brothers couldn't take our nothing life anymore & got into too many physical altercations with management.Maybe it was the pot,or maybe it was the poverty.I'm the oldest in yrs but youngest in mentality/power thanks to social anxiety & possible Autism (undiagnosed,but undergoing testing).This year my 74 yr old father will die,most likely,leaving my mother with nothing....not even a life insurance policy.Then she will call me yelling why I don't come home & take care of her & that I'm a bad daughter for not giving her a Malibu beach house.I guess she often chooses to forget that two weeks every month when our food stamps would run out.Moved out for good back in 2012 after I woke up & said.......I'm done.

My fondest memory as a girl/teen was hearing my father's term of endearment for my mother.It was especially prevalent around tax time when he would say why he wouldn't help file their taxes:

"I'm not going anywhere with that white woman because of her white privilege."-my fathers own words

See when you need a caretaker & cant write your own name like my poor mother......white privilege takes a backseat.

I want a life swap with Cleopatra,Aphrodite or a British royal like Kate Middleton.She's a lucky little bastard.I'm in California,USA by the way.

So......when should I end my tormented existence?