I hope that it’s ok to post this here. If not I’d be really grateful if you could direct me somewhere else.

I have a friend* Laura (not really Laura) who was ‘involuntarily admitted’ to a psychiatric ward sometime towards the end of last week during/after what I can only assume was a psychotic episode. I don’t know what the immediate trigger was (if there is such a thing), or what events took place to end up with her in there.

Nevertheless I have been in touch with her, and for the first time today she sounded more herself on text, so I offered to pop in and see her, which I did. It was great to see her, and I have to say she’s looking as well as can be expected. There was a certain amount of weariness in her eyes, and she certainly doesn’t seem to be massively stimulated by the activities in there, but on the other hand I gather she’s on fairly industrial quantities of Valium, so I guess that she won’t be too active.

What I’d like to ask is for any tips that you might have for me to be a good friend to her for the (as yet undefined) period she’s in hospital, and for once she is released. I took her in some snacks, chocolate and a magazine, but anything outside of that that you can think of that I can get would be wonderful.

Likewise, if there is anything I can do to ‘help’ with her care - I don’t mean in the clinical sense, but just in the sense of helping her to know that she is cared for, and that she has friends who are and will be rooting for her.

(Forgive me if the next bit comes off too strong - I know what I mean to say but I’m having trouble wording it!) Please note that I’m not really interested in a ‘diagnosis’ - I don’t really care if she’s suffering from psychosis or raging pink elephant syndrome. Unless it’s relevant that I know, I’m happy enough for her to tell me or not tell me at her leisure. For that reason I’d appreciate it if you could refrain from speculating on a diagnosis in your replies.

So, that’s it really. Any top tips?

(*) I left this bit to the end coz I’m trying not to make it about me, but this might be relevant. Laura isn’t ‘just’ a friend, but my ex. We split on good terms about 6 months ago, but have been in regular contact ever since, and I consider her a great friend. Where that might be a concern is that, from what I can piece together from texts, our relationship (both past and present) featured somehow in her episode. There was a particular text that she seemed to be reaching out for us to get back together. But, at the same time, I think that she feels part of a ‘conspiracy’ of some sort, whereby someone (maybe a group?) is trying to manipulate her, particularly through the Internet, computers and tv. I believe she also feels I might be a part of the conspiracy, and might in some way be trying to manipulate her myself. She said something today to the effect that she’s ‘not sure what my (as in me, not her) part in all this is’ and that I’m ‘difficult to read’. Please believe me when I say I’m not part of a conspiracy! Please also believe that, whilst I will admit that I have feelings for her and would be happy to get back together, I do understand that now is not the time to be thinking of that - indeed the time may never be right. Nevertheless, I do want to be a good friend, if that’s possible.

So, having said that, does the advice change at all? Should I engage with the idea of the conspiracy? Honestly, I think I’d find it very hard to provide any evidence that would help to PROVE I’m not trying to manipulate her, but if I can give her reassurance I would love to. Or, equally, should I try not to engage?

Many thanks in anticipation of any replies. Take care.