Do you think you can actually change your outlook on what life is about? Maybe outlook is the wrong word but more so life philisophy. Or change the way you look at the world, and how to achieve happiness. Maybe I am not being specific enough but after suffering 2 years of a sharp decline in my lifestyle, on a relative basis, I find myself with no job/career prospects, no friends, in debt and putting on weight. I don’t want to sound hyperbolic in any way but truly am lost, spending most days wondering around on my own, literally walking in circles or sitting on benches feeling uncontrollably confused and frustrated. I think we all have a view or expectation of what life should/can be for oursleves when we are growing up. And how to achieve that. Its of course different for everyone. But I what I want to know is do people think its possible to change your mindset or formula for what happiness looks like. To me it is quite shallow in some ways, and I guess phantasmagoric. A good career, that you are intellectual curious in, that pays relatively well and that society values in terms of status(thats my shallowness coming out). When I say pays well I don’t desire ridiculous amounts, but enough to live in a big city and not have to worry about paying for a concert ticket on the weekend and be generous enough to help your friends/family when they need you. A partner or girlfriend who you are genuinely attracted to and like, and haven’t just settled due to internal securities about getting older and loneliness. A group of friends that you feel comfortable being totally honest with, and actually often do things with. A feeling of not necessarily being confident in yourself, but at least a calmness with who you are. Instead of constantly questioning your personality and eroding character. At this point of time I haven’t got or achieved any of these things. Not even close. And more importantly feel I have lost all capability/belief on at least getting on a path build towards these dreams (as obviously these things don’t happen overnight). I feel I have missed the boat for that sort of life. As everyone who I know, although may not be living dream lifestyles, certainly are in jobs/careers/life paths that are more orthodox. What I want to know is, considering these themes have been in my head since a young child in one form or another, do people think its possible to let them all go. To erase them from my philosophical framework on what life is about. In essence, reconfiguring my happiness formula to be something else. For example, try live a life where money doesn’t matter at all. Or career doesn’t matter but getting by doing something I don’t necessarily like but pays the bills. Not worry so much about women/courtship and dating, but just be happy being on my own. Not fixating on my weight, which I guess is not that bad anyway, but be grateful for my health in general and access to a plate of food. Forget about materialistic or shallow things like the way I look or what I have or what people think of me, and build a life on something completely different. All of this has been playing in my mind a lot over the past 6 months. i have been unemployed for 2 and half years. And really have given up on life. The only thing I am holding on to is the hope that changing my ‘formula’ for happiness might work. However I can’t get all the feelings of failure out of my head. Constantly. Even if I laugh at something for a brief second, strangely I am reminded how badly I have fucked up every opportunity I have been handed due to my inability to actually do anything of substance in my life. Again, the word substance is subjective and is related to this image of what I think life should be like. If I could change it, it would help. Ive rambled again but was very grateful for the responses to my last post.