I feel like a piece of shit. I've lived at home since graduating college 2 years ago, had a job in my hometown, and I experienced a nervous breakdown last June. I had building anxiety since moving home, and it was like I crashed and I had had enough of my parents (my mom in particular), the isolation, the job I fucking hated -- everything. I just wanted to break free and take some time away, but my mind was such a mess at that time -- debilitating anxiety (made me feel paralyzed and unable to move), derealization/DP, rapid thinking etc. I felt like I was ready to snap/explode in rage, resentment, and anger. But the anxiety prevented this.

I've been seeing a therapist since October to talk about everything -- I only stayed home because I was hoping I'd mentally achieve some growth from this, get the anger out -- it was really like I had reached the end of the rope with my relationship with my mom (it's a bit toxic). It was like I was ready to let it go...

Since that time, you can say I've gotten better - particularly, this week I feel more stable. However, not I feel like reality is hitting me, and I haven't gotten to the "place" in therapy I was depending on. I feel so regretful that I didn't just get up and go somewhere in June to take a break from being at home...

I feel so dark at times, so upset with myself. Feeling like I've made a huge mistake, and I'm so angry at this situation. I feel so sick being at home, I feel crazy. How do I even get my life back after this? I'm so confused.