Generally I am quite a sensitive person and I have a history of anxiety and depressive episodes since the age of 11. I am finding it so hard to move on from a particular issue. I like to try and help the people around me as much as I can, and I have never enjoyed hurting anybody, which is why it has become so troubling.

A few years ago I was in a bad position financially and needed to find a job. The only job I could get at the time was at Claire's, and while working there I had to pierce ears, but that included people of ALL ages including babies. I feel like I really let myself down in that I didn't feel able to stand up for myself, and ended up feeling pressured into doing things that left me feeling really hurt and upset for many years after.

I just wish that I could've been able to say no. I don't judge parents who choose to have this done to their children necessarily, but it doesn't fit in with my own personal moral code, and not to mention it was also quite traumatic.

I feel like forgiving myself and somehow being okay with it is impossible, and I worry about what repercussions it could have if people knew. I don't know how to let it go and move on from it. I try to be a good and kind person every day but it feels hard when I can no longer be kind to myself.

I've tried to speak to people about it before and people have said that I shouldn't worry about it, but I feel like the reason it has bothered me so much might be more complicated than I originally thought. I'm finding it hard to articulate what I want to say because its been spinning around my head constantly for so long and its ended up being quite confusing.

If anyone has any advice it would be hugely appreciated.

Thanks for taking the time to read x