I wish I knew what was wrong with me. All I know is that my head is so scattered and lately I really just cannot connect with people.

I try so hard though, but that's all it ends up being- me trying to mirror what a "friend" would be like while not actually being a friend. It used to be nearly effortless but now I overthink everything I do way too much. Everything. All the while I'm just thinking about how "miserable" I am and use it as an excuse for being such a fake friend.

I honestly just want to live again, ya know? The last time I remember being alive, being present, was a long time ago. I can't fix this on my own, I don't know what to do.

I don't even know if this will make sense but I'm just so tired of feeling this way and had a sudden urge to reach out.

If anyone could direct me to something that could relate to this, I would appreciate it so much.