When I'm at school, I sometimes have a hard time paying attention in class, because even though I'll be looking at the teacher the entire time, I won't pick up majority or half of what they say even though I'm really trying me best to listen. If not that, I would be on the verge of crying for no reason and start choking my breath. This could be due to bad thoughts that distracts me a lot, but other times I legit don't know why. Then when I come home, as I do my homework, my mind keep having negative thoughts (negative thoughts that really aren't that bad tbh) leading to be on the verge of crying multiple times while I do my work or choke on my breath. And it's really distracting to the point I'm afraid to do work.

This is on and off, especially getting distracted easily and crying for irrational reason, those has happened since I think 6th or 7th grade. The choking started this year.

I felt like I was about to cry 3 or 5 times once, while I was doing classwork. As I was taking an exam, my throat tightened and I start having shorter breaths. The day before school start after winter break, I cried, because when I go back Im gonna feel lonely and anxious all over again and these symptoms are gonna come back. At one point in bed, I snapped, something triggered me as I was on my phone. I start tearing up I honestly don't know why. I got up and frantically try to look for a blade so I can cut myself. I found scissors but luckily was too scare to do it. 

I seek my school counselors so many times for help. They promise me to put me in an anxiety help group they never did and this is after going to them multiple time for help. Each time, they try to send me back to class. I had an anxiety attack one morning, she keep trying to send me back to class. I didn't receive help at the end. I do notice that when there's a break, these symptoms died down or disappeared though.

I just wanna receive help, is seeing a doctor a rational option? My mom thinks my experiences are bullshit and I made them up, that I just need to get off my phone for a bit and it'll all be better,but this happens even when I'm not on my phone, like playing piano. So what's going on?