My psychiatrist is such a firecracker. She's a mid-sixties Indian woman with a very thick accent. And she takes shit from no one. Here's some snippits from my most recent visit:

Dr: Looks like my nurse already added in the computer that you want to change your prescription to XR. Me: She did [explains why]... The nurse is very nice. Dr: She's a pain in the ass! She's too bubbly. I tell her all the time she needs to shut up. Me: [laughing] Yes, she does tend to go on. I was happy that this time, I saw her before the appointment with you. Last time, I saw her after and was in her office for 45 minutes while she told me all about her life. I tried to leave a few times. But it was no use. Dr: Oh for goodness sake. I tell her all the time that she can't do that. No one wants to hear about her damn life. These are psychiatry patients, not geriatric patients. If she wants to blabber on like that she needs to volunteer at a nursing home. Those old fogies will listen to her all day. Did she tell you about the chickens??? Me: Oh yeah. Her Facebook friend keeps a bunch of chickens in the house, apparently. Dr: [grumbles] Stupid chickens.....

While trying to enter info into the new fangled computer system: Dr: This new computer system is so stupid. It keeps trying to diagnose my patients. Today is clinical depression day. Everyone has clinical depression today! Me: I've read lots of articles saying that those algorithms can be pretty accurate. I'm sure it's helpful sometimes. Dr: Those damn algorithms don't know what I know! They're always trying to get me to run all these tests on people! Blood tests and ekg tests. It's so stupid! You're not dead yet are you? The medications are fine.

On my way out the door: Dr: Ok. See you in three months. Make sure you come early so that you can see the nurse first. Maybe you won't have to hear any more about the chickens!