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I’m 16 and suffer from extreme paranoia. It’s gotten really bad lately, and 7/10 times I have a panic attack before bed because I’m scared that something bad will happen while I’m asleep. I feel like if it happens while I’m awake I’ll be able to do something about it. I feel helpless and vulnerable in sleep, and it terrifies me. Same thing happens when I leave people (even just for a few minutes) although it’s much less severe than sleep. What can I do to stop this? It’s horrible.

Being a small female I have never been strong. I wish I was (I even work out partly for this reason) and fantasize about being violent towards others who I feel have wronged me but have never been in a fight. I am not sadistic and am more empathetic than most but I like the idea of violently beating something and think about it often. I hunt squirrels since they eat the flowers in my backyard (legal in my state) which gives me some satisfaction that honestly scares me a bit. I don’t want to hurt anyone and I don’t know how to shake this want. Thanks.

So, this might be a long rant, but here's the deal, As a kid I was really open, friendly, outgoing, all that good stuff, and although I was never remotely even a jock or anything like that, I was pretty popular at school, my teachers liked me and I had a ton of friends.

The older I grew however, the worst it got, I went to an all boys school, kindergarten all the way through high school, and ny the time I hit high school and we had to go to classes with girls from other schools and me and my friends basically discovered girls, I found that I become extremely tongue tied and shy around them, even though I'm very talkative around my friends and family, but the moment a girl I don't know enters the room, I turn into Raj from Big Bang Theory, it's usually better if I had some friends around me, then they kinda give me safety but if I'm at a new environment, I rarely spoke.

Fast forward to college and things became even worse since I went to a new college where none of my lifelong school friends went, I made a couple of friends there, but nothing really serious, and my problem with women persisted, I eventually became able to "pretend" to be at ease and relaxed, which enabled me to have normal conversations and even make a few female friends there, but I would only be able to put up the act for like an hour max before I clam back up again, also I'm kinda tall and big and according to people I have this permenant upset/angry look on my face (even though I never really get angry, I'm not that kind of person) which causes a lot of people to walk up to me and go "are you ok ?"

I also developed this habit where I dwell for too long on my mistakes no matter how minute or unnoticed they are and I would usually get this feeling whenever I'm somewhere and there's a group of people nearby laughing or whispering that they're laughing at me for some reason.

Flash forward to after college (I'm 25 right now) the social stuff have gotten better thanks to me having a job where I'm forced to interact with a lot of people, I still get extremely tongue tied around women though, like the last time I said hello to this woman I liked I swear my mouth moved but no sound came out and I developed full blown health anxiety due to a relatively log period of (non life threatening) illness and sudden deaths in my extended family. Also I found out that there is a history of cancer on both sides of my family as well as a history of depression and anti-depressant abuse as well as dementia on my mom's side, so...yay me.

Anyways, so now I'm living life with two personas, one of a (somewhat) funny, talkative friendly goof, which is closer to my true persona and is how my close friends and family know me. And one of a quiet, extremely polite but awkward dude who knows a lot of trivia info and always looks upset for some reason, which is how most other people view me.

I'm also under a lot of stress from work, where we're building up this new business where we invested the grand majority of our money, and I no longer see any of my friends because of conflicting schedules or them moving away for work...etc. So my day is basically get up, go to work, get to the gym and then go home and Netflix till bedtime, this loneliness and the fact that I feel like I'm getting older and still don't have a GF at a time where most of my friends are engaged, married or in serious relationships (heck one of them already got married, had a kid and got divorced already lol) leaves me feeling lonely and crappy as hell.

I (think) I have been dealing with depression over the past few months. I definitely have not been feeling like myself, and it's led me to do and say some regrettable things. Well today I finally managed to get up and make an appointment with the psychiatrist on campus. I was surprised when the receptionist told me the next available appointment wasn't for another ~10 days. I had no idea it would take this long.

So what do I do until then? I feel like I've had nothing to look forward to except for this, and now it feels like my entire life is on pause.

I think that the first time I went on a plane was to be sent to my aunt because my mom needed a break during my spring break. (I was carrying a small leatherman and was allowed to keep it in my pocket, so between 1998 and 2001. College age, probably burning out from the stress.)

I had a job that put me on multiple flights... they kept getting confused that I would rather fly out of Chicago than Indianapolis when I was from Indiana.

The international flight was "if you want to vacation with us, you have to fly."

There was one time when my husband sent me to my mom because reasons.

Bonus episode... I got driven from North of Chicago to Ohare airport to catch a bus to an airport shuttle based in Northwest Indiana.

It's been two years and can't find the right match after seeing almost every practice and recommendation leads.

I've been on zoloft since christmas and while on my original 25 and 50 mg doses I felt more anxious but still overall the same, moving to a 100mg dosage has made me extremely depressed and overall I feel like I can't enjoy anything.

Today a friend blocked me on discord because I was talking to him and being emotional, he said it was because he needed time to chill but it still hurt that he couldn't tell me. I've had at least 5 friends who have either asked me for time off or just cut contact for a small amount of time before so I just kind of fell apart after this all happened.

I've been on my university's waiting list for therapy since almost september since my therapist moved away in the summer, and now I have to wait til next wednesday before I can discuss with my doctor about coming off this medication.

I've never felt so alone around other people and even though I've joined new discords to overcome my social anxiety it feels pointless and nothing makes me feel happy or accomplished, I can't enjoy art and I can't focus on school either, I was doing fine when I got my diagnosis for OCD and before the medication but it feels like zoloft has ruined the great first semester I had this year.

I really don't know what to do and it scared me how little I cared about wanting to die today, the hope and optimism I had during december is completely gone and now I just feel empty with my intrusive thoughts STILL in the back of my mind.

I'm a student; 17; I start my day early and gay, at the time of six. I eat breakfast, prepare for the academic day ahead and am at school by six fifty. Class doesn't begin until 7:54, and so I take the time to catch up on work, and for the latter half, read. I drift through classes with curiosity, and joy. I don't eat lunch, and so I use that time to get ahead on work. As the final period draws a close, I still find myself relatively energetic (althought not expressed in words; I enjoy solitude). School ends at three, I wait fourty minutes for my mother to arrive (she's my transportation; we live far; I have no car/license because I have no job because I don't have the time for a job as my mom worjs and I have to babysit my two younger siblings). I arrive home at 3:45; satiation in the form of lunch arrives at 3:59/4:00. Iunch ends at 4:30, I use my phone until 5. I shower at 5:10; and finish with hygenine and such by 5:30. It is around this time that I typically begin to take note of my downspiral in mood. I lack the motivation to begin work, procrastinate for an hour or so. Begin work by 6:20, at 7 I go up for a snack; then resume work; at 8 I have dinner/last meal with my sister and brother. Dinner is typically done by 8:25, I do some cleaning. I finish cleaning by 8: 40. Then on my phone once again. Regarding phone activity, I usually watch youtube (stuff like tales of mere existence, clips of the cosmos w/ Sagan, chubbyemu, or coffeebreak). In the background of my mind, I compare myself to others, their accomplishments, my lack there of, their knowledge, my lack there of, their relationships (both platonic and romantic, but more platonic), my lack there of, all aspects of their life as compared to my own. My mom arrives home around nine; I retreat to my room around 9:30, my dad is finished w/ work by five but he goes in and out and isn't generally there which is why I don't mention him. I sleep by 10/11. That is my day; that is my life.

As it stands, I feel I am very much without purpose; and at times feel lonley. At school, my stronger acquaintanceships are with the staff and teachers; I have acquaintanceships with classmates, but the conversations are void; and I am all too aware that I am not a significant figure in their life, and so their is no real connection.

I have these feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness in my mind always, but I don't notice them much at school. I'm working to better myself; I've improved my diet, am working on losing 10 pounds, and try to distance myself from pessimism. In the past (last year), I suffered what I would call a severe prolonged period of depression. I am far better now as I actually care for my person, but the thoughts persist. I don't know what to do; is there an instruction manual on how to be happy?

Researchers Discover 'Anxiety Cells' In The Brain http://n.pr/2FuLA3W

It's been a year since I went crazy. I'm not proud but recently I saw someone who might have been a bystandert in this. I thought I could let it go but now I feel embarrassement. I am ashamed of myself. Which I think I should be. However, life moved on I have a new start. But I'm too hard on myself. I've always been. How to I control this? What had brought you guys out of your heads and into a good mindset?

Hi Reddit,

I'll try to keep this as brief and as short as possible, but basically I am asking for your help and wondering whether you think therapy could help me.

To start things off with, I've always had low self-confidence. I am a decent looking, fit, 23 year old man, but for most of my childhood/time in high school, I was skinny, short, etc. and made fun of for that. People saw me as a joke, made fun of me, etc. I definitely developed body image issues to the point where I wouldn't take my shirt off at the beach starting at the age of around 13. I was never beat up or stuffed in trash cans, but I certainly was the butt of jokes and looked down upon by people because I was seen as weak. I've had teachers, coaches, etc. tell me I couldn't do things because I was too short at the time.

Needless to say, this has had a profound impact on me. I've had social anxiety for years (it's very mild now, but was bad a few years ago). Above all, I have unstable relationships with women, constantly coming on too strong, being jealous, desperate, etc. I am well-educated, have a great sense of humor, am very independent, and am reasonably decent looking, and yet, I have such an inability to build a romantic relationship. I scare women off before I even have a chance and self-destruct incredibly. I am incredibly close with a number of women -- but I don't think there is a woman in my life who I haven't had a falling out with over something I created/some jealousy/etc.

This has also translated into a very frustrating experience with sex that I can't put my finger on or fully explain why I do it. I have a high sex drive, but I associate orgasm and sex with negative feelings. In my college days, I sexted countless women and had sex with probably around 10-11 women. I kept doing it and yet, I found myself being riddled with guilt, shame, and depression after these experiences. And yet, I continued to be aroused, seek these experiences out, and feel the same negative emotions after. Today, I've stopped sleeping with random people, but my pursuit of sex still exists -- most paradoxically -- even when I don't want it. I'll try to sleep with someone even when I know I don't want to actually do it or go through with it. I've concluded I want to feel loved and wanted and desired and that's why I pursue it, but why do I do it still, knowing my negative feelings that will ensue afterwards? How can I continue to be aroused/hit up women for sex even though I know I don't want it? Is this just poor self control?

I concluded in the last few years that much of my behavior and lack of success with women in developing lasting relationships was because of my lack of self-confidence. I just have been so unable to fix my behavior and continue to repeat the same mistakes over and over, despite being fully aware of it.

How do I change this? I feel resigned to this just being the way I am forever, but it's so frustrating watching myself repeat the same mistakes over and over and yet, so unable to change them. Can therapy TRULY change me or will it just tell me what I already know?

Thanks so much, everyone!

I'm not sure if this is a mental illness or not. It could be a symptom of my depression, but I've always talked to myself a lot.

This only happens when I'm alone. I make up conversations/arguments with other people who I may or may not know. I'm pretty sure this isn't schizoprenia or anything because I'm aware that the people aren't with me, and I'm not hearing voices in my head other than my own.

idk, this is probably a stupid post, but I was just wondering

I have severe social anxiety to the point I feel anxious and uncomfortable when ever I am around most other people. Something that I have been told to do which I have been doing for a while is exposure, go in to the social situations that make me anxious. Even though this has been helping a bit in terms of the anxiety does calm down somewhat the longer I am in the situation, the next day when ever I go in to a social situation again the anxiety is as bad as ever again. The social anxiety does not seem to be getting less overall, as I feel really anxious again when ever I go in to a social situation.

My girlfriend (W/17) and I (M/18) have been in a relationship for 1 1/2 years now, after around a 2/3 year into our rel. I did something really stupid (I texted with other girls eventually broke up with her and slept with two other girls in the time when we were broke up. Also in that time she got hit by a bus and had some injuries, nothing really bad but still traumatizing. We came back together after two months).

I am a different person in those things but still, the trust is gone and trust me I regret everything I did every day. We had many fights about stuff like me talking to friends who I know since 5 or 6 years - or even longer (girls) etc.

The Worst part tho is that she lately feels really alone and that she has no one else but me. She has many troubles in her family and barely to no really good friends - I mean she knows people and talks with them, most of them know her through me tho. And the ones she likes and wants to be better friends with (mostly girls in our "clique") don't really take her into the group - like they always go out together but barely invite her to come along. Also, shes always referred to "(my Name)'s - girlfriend).

Then there is this person on Instagram that sends her messages no one wants to get (something along the lines of "you look so ugly you should hang yourself, your boyfriend is stupid for choosing you - you should've died in that bus accident" I know that is hard for her and lowers her self-esteem by ton's, even tho she is incredibly beautiful - like for real.)

I just don't know how to help her anymore or how to get her mood up... I thought about talking with some of the girls and asking them why they don't really take her along?

It's getting worse and worse day by day... she is really scared that she won't be happy anytime soon again - if ever. She is just always really sad and to be honest it hurts our relationship.

If anyone knows how I could help her to "get" more friends, or get closer to the people we already know.

I also told her that I would recommend a psychologist because I feel like it is getting pretty serious - she said no...

Please help me, I will try to answer any question and I'll be happy about any, serious, answer!

Kind regards - Bedmansdog

(Yes I know we seem pretty young for those kinds of problems and that friends are complicated in that age but still, her sadness is real and it is getting scarily serious.)

My friend is experiencing paranoia and believes he is being monitored by the cartel or the government. He is a functioning human that can hold down a job and I am the only person who he has told about his belief. He is constantly changing his phone number and moving to different states, so everyone knows something is going on, but no one knows exactly what. Turns out it is because he believes he is being watched. How do I approach this subject with him? He trusted me enough to tell me and I want to help him.

Dated this girl with BPD for a while. Was a mess of a lovely relationship. Everything went to shit in the end and now my family doesn't want me seeing her.

Lately I've just been consumed by this idea that she might not be real. All the evidence points to her existing but I just feel like she doesn't. We've been hanging out again recently and having to sneak around to see her just makes the problem worse and I'm always wondering if people are just watching me talk and laugh with myself because she isn't really there.

Not sure why I'm posting this. I guess I'm just wondering if anybody has had a similar experience?

This all started when my first (ever) girlfriend broke up with me 8 months ago. I was 16 at the time, and I was extremely hurt by this because she was the first girl I ever loved despite only dating her for 1 and a half months. I spent the first couple months of the breakup crying about it but hiding it from everyone I knew. It got worse when I found out she cheated on me two weeks before breaking up with me. I also had to go to work with her every day afterwards for 3 months straight until she quit, and I frequently see the guy she cheated on me with, even today.

I withdrew from friends and lost all of them and now all I have is my sisters. I can't make friends now because I am far too cynical and have a strong sense of disdain for everyone around me.

When I was dating her, I was a fairly charismatic motivated, and funny person. Now, I display no emotion, I can't be funny even if I tried. I can't express emotion to others whatsoever, I stutter and slur my words, I keep misspelling common words I used to know well and feel more stupid overall, despite the fact that I read more books now than I ever have. I get angry easily. I can't get to sleep at night. I have bags under my eyes and they're bloodshot.

This is where it gets bad.

I have constant suicidal thoughts. Sometimes, I'll think about my ex and think about killing myself in front of her, or just killing her. Sometimes it's the guy she cheated on me with. Sometimes it's their entire groups of friends. I don't actually feel compulsion to do it. I just have the thoughts. I'm also pretty apathetic in general, although I still care about human life (mostly) and don't want to hurt anybody.

I don't want to go to therapy because my family is poor enough already, and no way would I ever tell another person about this face to face. Other than therapy, how can I get better, and what the fuck is wrong with me? This is some Ted Bundy type of shit.

I am in the USA. I have never seen a psychiatrist before and want to write everything I want to say because there's no way I'll remember, but I have no idea how much time the appointment might be.

I’ve always sort of hated myself. But there were things about myself that I was proud of. My intelligence, my ability to continue to learn, my ability to follow through with what I say I’m going to do, my ability to take responsibility for my own actions, my ability to be decent to others, my ability to stay out of the gossip loops, etc.

It seems like I’ve lost a bit of control here. I used to have pretty decent self discipline, but now I can’t seem to discipline myself.

I’ve never been great at taking criticism, but I’ve always been able to own up to my own shortcomings and faults. Now there seem to be a lot of criticisms (from others and myself) and I have no excuse. I’ve had a few breakdowns recently, and I’m at a pivotal point in my life. I want to go back to who I was, but I need help. Im working on it, but it’s so tough not to crumble when I do better at one thing and get criticized about another.

Any suggestions or experience with a similar issue?

So I need some advice... I’ve been with my boyfriend almost 8 months. He makes me so happy and I genuinely see us getting married and having a family. Unfortunately this is the first time ever for me having one of my low moods whilst in a relationship - I’m depressed most the time but at the moment I’m like an extra level of depressed. I don’t know how to handle it because I can see how this is hurting him and I’m getting frustrated because he’s not handling it well and says stupid stuff (I was having a break down a few nights ago and was texting him whilst crying and he says ‘I can’t handle this right now I’m stressed and tired’ - stuff like that)

He’s never been with a person who has depression before either.

He’s not handling the fact that I’ve no libido at all, and things such as cuddling are too much for me as well. I know this is down to the fact that I was assaulted early last year and I never dealt with it because I didn’t know how or if I could (also I don’t want my mum to know because she’s emotionally abusive so would use it against me)

I believe that he believes that he knows it’s not his fault but he’s been saying the odd stuff here and there and it’s made me feel guilty, I don’t think he does it on purpose because I do think he’s just a bit obtuse.

I just want to know what to say to him. What are the magic words I could use to just fix things? I want him to know what depression is, I want him to think before he speaks and I want him to stop pressing for sex and even talking about it via text because that makes me anxious.

I feel terrible because I feel like I’m dating an itch, or a clicking pen that won’t stop.

I know what I need to do to get better because I admit I’ve not looked after myself properly but it’s going to take time.

I’m just stuck and in a constant state of Agro

Hi /r/mentalhealth, crossposting here because it might be more appropriate to discuss here than on /r/sleep. text: Hi /r/sleep, I've had a couple occurrences of unsettling, yet extremely brief, hallucinations during class, followed by a momentary loss of consciousness, then picking my head up as it is falling. I realize everyone sleeps in class, but... I just can't tell if this is just normal sleep deprivation.

For a long time I've had trouble falling asleep, trouble with feeling tired during the day, not feeling sleepy or tired, and not feeling well rested after sleep. Normally, I go to bed to have 7-9 hours of sleep, but it takes me a long time to go to sleep. At night, I take melatonin, and that has been helping.

But a couple times a week now, especially during class, I have been feeling spells of extreme exhaustion. I will feel normal as I'm sitting down in my chair. I try to fight this exhaustion, and zero in on every word the professor is saying. It's not like I'm slowly being lulled to sleep, like how I would imagine falling asleep during class. Here is the most extreme example:

The professor will be talking and taking notes. "Ok here's this equation, here's this fact, here's this..." and after a few seconds, this is what I perceive: "Here's llamas wearing beanies, there is a green field, all is peace and equality, so naturally the equation will be..." and this feels perfectly logical to me, and I take avid notes, but I soon realize my head is very rapidly falling, jerking my whole body in one direction. I snap up, and look at my notes, and my handwriting just trails off where I thought I was writing. This is the most extreme example.

For other reasons this has been a time of high stress and fairly extreme emotional pain, but I've dealt with this problem a few times now over a few months. Should I talk to a doctor? Am I just not getting enough rest? This whole thing has been very frustrating. My Dad thinks I may be depressed, but I have the sneaking suspicion that I'm on the autistic spectrum, or have a combination of that with mild depression/anxiety and insomnia.

Edit: in canada

TL;DR: Tired, stressed, not sure if I have a mental illness, hallucinating what the teacher is saying then waking up in class.

I've always felt that there was something wrong with me, but my parents have said otherwise. People seem to think my social interactions are sometimes weird. For example, I was just teasing my friend by playing with her glasses and out of nowhere a girl next to us asked me if I was okay. I said "Yes, why?". She said "You look like you were panicking." I didn't really know how to respond to that. Or sometimes I might accidentally say things to myself that I blurt out whenever I remember a painful/embarrassing memory. I just feel so tense in public that I don't know what to do with myself. It's like I'm more robot than human. Sometimes, I lock/tense up and I twitch my neck. Eye contact actually weirds me out; I just don't like it, it's so uncomfortable for me. I just can't deal with this anymore. I thought everything was fine, but it's not. Almost like I'm disguising myself all the time. I've started doing poetry to cope with it.I daydream as well with my head in the clouds, even during my college courses. I may not be mentally ill (I certainly hope not at least), but I need advice. I'd be happy to post the poems to if needed. Thanks for reading .

I become super straightforward and honest with myself and everyone else when I'm running on very little sleep. Is there something I'm lacking while I'm well rested that I only get when I'm sleep deprived? I'm currently 20 years old, and can remember this being the case as early as elementary school. I'm hoping to figure out what causes this to happen so I can do what I need to in order to be that way while well rested.

I don't want to get into too much detail, because it will be long.

But a family member has PTSD and depression, it's pretty bad. They're stuck in a rut and are thinking so negatively. Everything I say they shoot it down and have something negative to say. They are getting professional help but they just started so i dont expect to see drastic results right away. I invite them out and they usually turn me down. They say they feel alone, have no friends, and are scared to go out. But yet when a friend invites them out or tries to talk to them they shut out or are short. It's like they want me to help them and fix them but i have no idea how, I'm running out of ideas, idk if im making it better or worse, and I feel like its taking a toll on my own life.

Is there anything I can do to help? Is just being there hearing out their cries enough? At what point do I start focusing on my own mental health? I feel like their constant negative energy is not good for me but i dont want to abandon them.

I don’t know where to start. I have bad anxiety. I can hardly leave my house sometimes. I do have a job, but while I’m there I keep my mouth shut all day. I don’t socialize at all.

I have mood swings. For example, today I woke up feeling pretty good. Someone actually gilded one of my comments on my main account. This mood carried through until a few hours ago. I finished my taxes and ended up owing money instead of getting back over $1000. That threw me into a whirlwind of emotions. I started out incredibly angry. I wanted to yell at someone. Before I could even accept my anger, I got really sad. I had to step outside for a moment to get away from everything. Now I feel hopeless. That money was going to go towards paying down my debt. Now it just got added on top of it.

I feel suicidal, but not that I want to kill myself. I’d rather something happen to me so that my family and few friends don’t have to go on knowing that I took the easy way out. I would never kill myself, but I sure don’t want to live anymore.

Who can I talk to about this? What do I even say to them? Back to the title, what’s wrong with me?

ive been struggling since for ever with my non existent social skills. ive always been hypersensitive and taken things too personally. it was ok up until i left the country to find work abroad. i cant adjust to any environment. im not sure if i lack the ability to translate peoples intentions in my head. i just get frustrated over every little thing. if my colleage asks me why i filed an email ill get defensive..like..why would she even think i filed it and didnt action it? if my manager doesnt support the team i get frustrated. and obviously im a loner. but this has led me to have spent my time abroad angry and alone. im in therapy but my therapist is quite confused..hes not sure if its just my temperament or something else.

Here's the jist- I'm a freshman in highschool orchestra, and was going to tryout for Chamber (highest orchestra), despite there being no spots for cellos. I ended up not trying out because I was too busy, but today I learned that some of my friends got in. I am in no way trying to be snobbish, but I know that if they could get in, I definitely could. My teacher told me that he would kick someone out of chamber for me, and now I'm really upset and jealous that I didn't audition. I'd feel so guilty to ask for another chance to audition, what should I do? I feel like I'm spoiled.

I'm trying to articulate to non technical clients reasons to stop using old Access DB's and develop a new application in .NET.

As the title says, I finally opened up about my mental health and have started on the pathway to some sort of redemption. After an incident on Friday which left me in a bad place, after ages of things slowly getting worse (Diagnosed with Crohn's and am stuck with it for life). I decided/got pushed with the help of a friend to get help. Seen a doctor today and am planning to try and sort out stuff.

I honestly don't know how to feel. I guess things will get better. I just hope I can prove to my friends that I am better than this atm.

I just want to thank the people of this subreddit for coming forward with your stories and proving that there is hope. I hope things go well. Even if it still doesn't feel like that atm.

I've been to the hospital before. The nurse told me to take more walks in parks and referred me to a day program they never called me for.

Since Christmas, my mental health has been very bad. I've been suicidal, anxious, depressed, all that stuff. This week I've been non-functional in a lot of ways. I'm thinking of going to the hospital again, and I think I want to stay in inpatient because I literally don't know what to do anymore. Right now I'm pretty lucid, but literally, anything can set me off.

But I'm worried I'm being stupid, that they'll send me home again. Right this second I'm not suicidal, and even when I am I don't know if I'd do it because I don't want to hurt my family. Maybe I shouldn't go and I should just keep trying to figure out medication. I don't know, I just want help.

*edit: why is this flagged as an announcement???

Hi Reddit. I am pretty sure my stalker has erotomania and I'm just trying to figure out the best course of action for him to leave me alone. How does the fixation end for someone w erotomania?
He is someone I know from college and we haven't spoken in years, never been anything others than barely friends. I know he has a history of schizophrenia.
To make a long story short, he is currently trying to rent the apartment next to mine down the hall. My building management is aware he is stalking me but are worried he will sue them if they reject his application due to fair housing laws. I have made multiple police reports and am having trouble getting a stay away order due to the way the law is set up (doesn't protect you unless youve had a previous intimate relationship w the person or are family).
I am about to move out of state but have a few weeks left here. I'm worried he will find a way to follow me to my new location despite taking appropriate measures (PO box, deactivated all my social media, etc). I'm going to try to speak w a district attorney tomorrow for a stay away order but I am not hopeful. I just feel so helpless in this situation. Any insight into erotomania is appreciated.

M/26/USA

I've been having some odd medical issues (muscle pains, joint aches, nausea, fatigue, unexpected weight loss) over the past month+.

Been to the doctor once (when the only symptom was back pains) and was diagnosed with stress trigger points. But the fact that more and more symptoms are coming up have me worried that the issue is really something systematic and that I have a life-threatening disease or that I have cancer.

I have another appointment to see a doctor in a few weeks but in the meantime I can't shake the feeling that I am dying and that I am going to go to that appointment and get diagnosed with bone cancer or a brain tumor.

It seems like the universe is foreshadowing my demise. Recent talks with coworkers/friends/family seem to inevitably arrive at a story of someone who has/had cancer. Even the media I consume (podcasts/online videos/tv shows) weirdly have coincidentally brought up life ending diseases in recent episodes. Even as I type this, the video I'm watching just brought up the fact that someone they knew just up and died out of nowhere due to cancer.

I'm walking around all day thinking I better get my affairs in order, and freaking out that come next month I might not even be here. Not sure if anyone can really help me with this, but I kind of needed to vent it all because it's really freaking me out.

I've been clean for a while now but lately I've been under more stress and the urges have started back up full force. Does anyone have any good tips on how to deal with the urges?

I wasn't quite sure which sub reddit it would be appropriate to post this to, so I'm gonna take a leap of faith here.

I've been on Adderall for nearly a year and a half now, 20mg XR and 15mg IR once a day each. These side effects started becoming more frequent in recent months and they are causing some concern in my day to day life specifically at work.

First off, the anxiety at work has become more rampant. It would first start off as chest related anxiety, or that's the best description I could think of, in which I would become overly aware of my breathing, or over focus in on it. This would quickly escalate to being overly aware of my environment which in turn would somehow equate to thoughts running through my head of people judging me or thinking bad of me, such as not knowing what I'm doing etc, which breaks down my confidence and performance at work. It then causes me to be filled with self-doubt and effects my personality altogether by not being as social as I want to be because I feel like I would say something stupid and make a fool of myself. After that, it escalates takes a more physical form and becomes noticeable when I am talking on the phone with people at work- weird ticks like stumbling over words when I'm speaking, an inability to find the right choice of words when in my head I can think of the correct or best things to say but for whatever reason it just wouldn't come out correctly. During this time I'd also double check words after reading anything- as if I didn't comprehend what I just read or remember it thereafter. Seems like when I am in this state of Anxiety/Social Anxiety my short-term memory goes to shit. After every conversation, I would also stress myself out by thinking of what I could have said instead of what I actually said. This more or less has been with me throughout my whole life and growing up in my teens but never magnified in the way that Adderall has made it become in recent months. I've always thought it could be a personality trait or a cognitive defect that works against me- maybe even some form of OCD possibly, I'm not too sure. Even in times of stress at work, I would notice brain fog later in the day, which could be something the comedown from the Adderall might cause.

The last part I want to bring up, which I'm going to stress is the most important to address to my psychiatrist when I see her on the 15th of February, is that in the last few months falling asleep and staying asleep has become a major issue. I typically go to bed around 9:30 pm, falling asleep maybe about an hour later. During my time trying to fall asleep my mind would race a million miles per hour through various different memories in my past or create rather obscure new ones which I try to focus on anyway but I end up focusing too much on my breathing for whatever reason, and this might be purely psychological I have no idea but at least during the first time frame I fall asleep I'm able to feel like I'm dreaming and asleep- which is followed by waking up for the first time around 1-2am. After trying to get back to sleep after the initial wake up, the passage of time feels rather odd. It doesn't feel like I'm sleeping, it feels like I'm still conscious and aware of my breathing and any dreams I have during this second half I usually don't remember because it's such a light sleep. During the second half of the night I would frequently wake up and maybe doze off several times throughout the night with no recollection of actually sleeping, it's extremely bizarre! I then typically wake up at 6:30-7:30am during the week depending on the day. This happens to me on days I take my Adderall and also my off days I don't take any. I've tried the usual melatonin, Benadryl and other OTC stuff that works briefly if at all, but isn't a real solution. I also don't consume caffeine anytime after 12pm, and I typically take my 20mg XR at 8am, and my 15mg IR at around 1pm. At any rate, I wanted to add that I eat proper meals throughout the day, I exercise vigorously 5 days a week in the a.m. before going into work.

Now, I'm not saying that all this could be related, but it might be who knows. I'm not looking for a solution, just someone who can elaborate further even share if they have ever experienced any of these- abnormalities. It would give me some relief that I am not the only one with these issues. I'm hoping my psychiatrist will sympathize with me here as it's really affecting my day-day work/home/social life. I've heard of people with the social anxiety element to my story being prescribed Klonopin with great success alongside their Adderall prescription so that might be something that I could consider as I've heard it helps with sleep issues as well. I've read cases that are similar to what I'm experiencing but never to the extent such as mine. Everything from an imbalance of GABA, to brain damage being the cause haha, scary stuff doesn't seem there is any middle ground.

It's just strange to me that this even happens as it was never an issue when I first started on my medication.

But anyway I hope to hear anyone with any sort of input as it would be very much appreciated!

For as long as I can remember, my father has had a bad temper. Although the out-loud yelling name-calling sort of anger does show up on a rare occasion, it’s always been a more subtle, smoldering sort of anger. He’s always on the lookout for something to be angry about, and once he finds it, he isolates himself from the rest of the family and gives us the silent treatment. For example, last year he, my mother and I went to Florida and were walking around the hotel when her phone went off for a weather alert. He accused her of cheating on him and keeping secrets, then sat in the hotel room for the next couple days. I showed him what was on her phone and showed him all of her text history, but he refused to listen. “Don’t push me. I know what I saw.” I love my father, but there’s something about his anger issues that I know aren’t normal. There’s usually a span of 2 weeks to a month between the “episodes”, but reason I’m here is because today he was angry toward me and my mother without giving a reason at all, and I’m starting to sense a strain on their marriage. My father refuses to get any diagnosis or doctor visits, so I’m just wondering; is there a mental illness brewing here, and if so, what possibly could it be?

Hello, first off i’ve got adhd just so you know Second off 3 years ago my best friend/sort of little brother died in a plane crash, my parents divorced and some other bullcrap ^ Thought it might matter in this case

Okey so lets get to the topic, When all these events happened i was only sad for about a week after and after that i was (kinda) back to normal not fully recovered ofcourse but just alright. I think it’s kind of weird how the plane crash never affected me that heavily since my family was affected more while i was (except for my mother) the one closest to the family we lost. I see this as a good thing tho. But i find it weird how things like this are not heavily affecting me while i often get sad for no reason at all. I have good moods empty moods and sad moods. Im usually in a sad mood when im tired (and sometimes just randomly) and the empty mood just occurs some days and it stays this mood doesnt bother me. And happy mood is just rest of the time. Dont get me wrong in the sad mood im still laughing with friends its just that when im not, im sad. I am not depressed or anything like that im happy with my life but im just wondering if there’s something not working how its supposed to in my emotional system. Any advice? Oh and btw im 17 years old so could this have to do with puberty.

Should i post this on another subreddit?

I'm in the UK, been consistently, chronically depressed for 6 years among other problems, recently been feeling better sometimes but the downs have been worse. I'm seeing a therapist who is teaching me some CBT skills and stuff but I want drugs to help me with my moods I don't want to go back into self harming as much again or try to kill myself. How can I get hold of them on the NHS? I've never had antidepressants or anything before.

As stated in the title I am wondering what emotions they can feel if they can feel them any help appreciated thanks.

My stepfather and mother got into an argument a few days ago and I got dragged into it. It brought me back to my childhood watching my mom and dad fighting and me always getting involved and crying. I've always been a crier and I fucking hate it. For once I'd just like to be able to deal with a conflict without fighting back tears and ultimately loosing control.

It's embarrassing because my stepfather doesn't deserve to see me cry the man is fifty years old and stooped to the level of pointing his fat sausage finger in my face and calling me a brat. In my head I wanted to get mad not sad. I've read about conflict resolution, I tried to be rational as possible and this ancient child resorted to name calling and he even called me a baby a for crying. In my head I was like wow this guy is really pathetic, crying over this would be like an adult crying because a 5 year old called him a poopy head, and I can be the bigger person here. Yet out of nowhere I went from calm to emotional I felt the dam was breaking and no amount of reason or rationale could stop it. It didn't even make sense, I was fine I was doing great, I don't understand why I got so upset.

I could see every manipulation he was pulling and it was obvious, my mom had him in a corner and he brought me into the argument as a distraction even though I had nothing to do with it and was minding my own business. I knew what he was doing and I cried anyway, that's the part that bothers me the most. I don't care that he called me a name, i just hate that he got to feel like he won, and that his bullshit manipulation tactic went unnoticed. This moron that I barely know, and lost all respect for, made me cry.

I tried counting to ten, taking deep breaths, taking a break from the situation, but once the seal breaks I just can't get the urge to cry to stay down. This is my least favorite thing about myself. Arguments seem to come up so much in my life and nothing ever gets solved because everything gets so emotional.

I have struggled for the past 10 years with performance anxiety in school. I have avoided challenging classes and not taken the career that I wanted because of my attitudes toward school as threatening to my self-esteem. In my mid-20s I went back to school for challenging technical work and I would eventually like to enroll in a master's program, but I am feeling a lot of resistance to not doing well in classes. I have experience panic attacks and dropped classes several times over the years. I went to therapy and it has gotten better and I was hoping maybe someone out there could share a similar experience that they had. Wishing you all the best!